If you are wondering how client-facing professionals can afford to traipse off on extended leave while financial markets are still functioning, it is because the clients they so sincerely seek to serve have themselves vanished, finews.com's editor-at-large Shruti Advani writes.

Europe – by most accounts, the birthplace of private banking – is a desolate place emptied of its bankers. It’s not the regulator but the heatwave that has driven this species out of their usual habitats of London, Geneva, and Zurich. Where have they gone?

Be wary of the research methodology employed (a few envy-inducing chats on the phone as well as electronically), but here’s a list of the boltholes these bankers have fled to.

  • The Cotswolds in the U.K., teeming with stone-built second homes for London’s wealthy and weary to retire to.
  • A yacht cruising international waters off the coast of... anywhere really as long as the cell phone signal is weak enough to justify a week’s worth of missed team calls.
  • Provence where the locals are being driven off the road by families zipping between Surrey and their chateau.
  • Portugal especially for those unfortunate enough not to have used previous bonuses to buy yachts or second homes. This sleepy part of Europe may be one of the few that remains sun-drenched yet attainable on this year’s bonus.

If you are wondering how client-facing professionals can afford to traipse off on extended leave while financial markets are still functioning, it is because the clients they so sincerely seek to serve have themselves vanished.

Top Spots for the Seriously Moneyed

But not to the same holiday destinations. Using the aforementioned dubious methodology, the following emerge as the top spots for the seriously moneyed.

  • Los Angeles, to compounds rented for the summer in the northern half of Beverly Hills, complete with multiple layers of security, pools and tennis courts. The west coast has taken over from the east in recent years as a magnet for magnates, who work hard in San Francisco and play harder in L.A.
  • Ibiza but only in the confines of a private villa or yacht because the hotels - even the ones that are $1200 a night – are for tourists.
  • The French Riviera at hotels dotting Saint Tropez, Cannes or Saint Jean Cap Ferrat with the obligatory stop at Monte Carlo and Jimmy’z [with an «z»] in Monaco.
  • Bali may be too far to take the yacht to but private jets are welcome in Denpasar and it offers a reprieve from last year’s hotspot - Mykonos - that has been overrun with Instagrammers this season.

Choose wisely, because where you go may well define who you are!